Staying Healthy


You know, it's just not possible
To live a healthy life.
A myriad instructions come
For me and for me wife.

For some say this and some say that;
So what can you believe.
The advertisers on T.V.
Are laughing up their sleeve.

Eat some of this to keep your heart
From conking out one day,
Or drink this juice and have this pill:
Keep joint pains all at bay.

Now if you're getting old and grey
Alzheimer's is a chance,
But if you eat dark chocolate
It's just a sideways glance.

But having too much chocolate
Will send blood pressure high;
So only use this special spread,
Put off your time to die.

But that spread is a problem though
It's got canola oil.
You'll macular degenerate
Your eyesight's gonna spoil!

So back to good old butter then
To spread on toast and bread
And what the heck, eventually
From something I'll be dead!

Maybe I'll have the spread one day
And butter on the next,
With chocolate thrown in now and then
To have on some pretext.

So now I've got it all worked out
I know just what's in store;
I've analysed near everything,
And so I'm pretty sure

It's from a half a heart attack
And blind in just one eye
But still with all me marbles that
I'm one day going to die!

© Tom Chapman 2007